


Wherever You Are

by Lola99



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 20:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2825459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola99/pseuds/Lola99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My gift for nightstiel for the Mass Effect Holiday Cheer gift exchange on Tumblr.<br/>Shepard wakes up in the hospital after the war and immediately leaves on the most important mission of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherever You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightstiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightstiel/gifts).



 

* * *

 

 

John Shepard looked out the starboard observation window of the SSV Orizaba, finding comfort in the stars.  It was the _only_ thing that brought him comfort these days.  They were familiar and they were home.  When he looked out on the vast, empty space, it made all of his problems seem just a little smaller.

He knew his mother was worried about him.  And she was probably right to.  When Dr. Michel had found him on what was left of the Citadel, he’d been holding on to life by the thinnest of threads.  At least that’s what they told him when he finally woke up a week later.  He should have stayed in the hospital longer to let his injuries heal fully.  But the Normandy was still missing.  His crew was still missing.

_Kaidan_ was still missing.

His mother knew him well enough to know that if she didn’t take him, Shepard would find another ship to help him search for the Normandy.  They convinced Dr. Michel to come with, converted the observation lounge into a sort of hospital room for him, and headed off to search for his missing ship and crew.

Somewhere in the back of his head, Shepard knew that he was being selfish.  If he hadn't insisted on coming with, Dr. Michel could be back on Earth helping countless other survivors instead of babysitting him.  He knew that the Orizaba could be put to better use elsewhere, while a smaller ship searched for the Normandy.  That his mother, an _Admiral_ , certainly had more important things that she could be tending to.

But he really didn’t care.  After everything, he’d earned the right to be a little selfish.  He obviously wasn’t the only one who thought so, because he’d received very little argument from anyone involved.  When Shepard had told him what he wanted to do, Hackett had simply met his eyes and said, “Bring them home.”

So here he was, somewhere between the Normandy’s last known location and the scheduled rendezvous point that they’d never made it to, waiting for one of their scans to turn something up, and frustrated that his injuries kept him from taking a more active role in the search.

Being mostly confined to bed left him entirely too much time to think, and he had a lot to think about.  Shepard was constantly asking himself if he’d done the right thing with the Crucible.  Had his choice truly been the _right_ one, or had he only convinced himself that it was so that he could have the chance of seeing Kaidan again?  Because he would be lying if he said that the other man hadn’t been on his mind in that moment.  That he hadn’t been thinking of the pained expression on Kaidan’s face right before James had pulled him on the Normandy and Shepard had headed towards the beam.

No.  He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts.  It had been the right choice.  Synthesis reminded him too much of what had become of Saren two years ago, and The Illusive Man proved that controlling them wouldn’t work.  Shepard certainly wasn’t going to trust the Reaper’s _creator_ when it said that either of those things would be any different with him.  His only choice had been to destroy the Reapers.  

He just wished that it hadn’t meant potentially destroying the Geth and EDI as well.

“John?”

Shepard peeled his gaze away from the window and smiled as his mother entered the room.  The look on her face had his smile faltering.

“What is it?”

“We found a signal on the planet below.”

“And?”

“We’re not getting any response to our hails but it does match the Normandy’s signature.”

He fought to remain calm.  They’d found them.  But in what condition?  No response could really mean anything.  It was entirely possible that they were okay but comm systems were damaged.   He decided to stop his thought process there.

“Okay, so are we going down?”

“I’m personally leading a team to the surface to investigate.”

Shepard stood from where he’d been sitting on the edge of his bed and headed towards his locker, pulling out fatigues and boots.

“John.”

He didn’t look back as he replied, “I’m going down on that shuttle.  Don’t fight me on this because you won’t win.  Just tell me what you know about the condition on the surface.  Do I need a hardsuit?”

There was a long pause behind him as he struggled into his clothes.  Despite the limited PT that Dr. Michel had started him on, he was still weak and sore.  Simple things like getting dressed tended to take a lot longer and considerably more effort than they should.

Finally he heard a sigh.  “You shouldn’t need the hardsuit.  The atmosphere is breathable and the climate appears to be temperate.”

Shepard finally turned and looked back at her.  “Thank you.”

They made their way down to the shuttle together, and Shepard ignored the nervousness that was building as they settled and prepared to launch.  He’d never been able to hide anything from Hannah Shepard though, and she leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“You okay?”

“Honestly?  I’m not sure.  Ask me after.”

He felt her hand grip his and then her pilot’s voice came from the front of the shuttle.

“Admiral, I can see the ship.  It looks mostly intact, Ma’am, and I’m picking up multiple lifesigns.”

The tension eased from Shepard’s body as he felt her squeeze his hand briefly and then answer her pilot.

“Excellent.  Put us down as close as you can, Lieutenant.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan Alenko sat in Shepard’s cabin (and damnit it was still Shepard’s cabin even if he was the only one occupying it at the moment) reading over the repair reports that everyone had just turned in.  They’d been stuck on this planet for three weeks now and with EDI offline, repairs had been painfully slow.

The Normandy wasn’t lost.  If they had access to anything other than trees and rocks, they’d have been able to make the repairs a lot faster.  But they had managed to crash land on one of the few inhabitable but still unsettled planets left in the galaxy.  And unfortunately, their comm system had received some of the worst damage.  They were stuck here until it was fixed or until someone stumbled upon them.  With the state he imagined the galaxy was in, he wasn’t betting on the latter.

The one good thing about all the work they had to do was that it kept his mind occupied and he couldn’t dwell on what might be happening back on Earth.  Kaidan knew that some members of the crew were worried about him.  Garrus and Liara were certain that he just wasn’t dealing with the fact that Shepard was dead.

Garrus had tried to be brutally honest with him.

“You didn’t see that blast, Kaidan.  You were still passed out in the Med Bay.  I know he’s always pulling himself out of crazy situations, but not even Shepard could have survived that.”

Liara had tried a slightly different approach.

“If anyone could have survived, it would certainly be Shepard.  I just think you need to be prepared.  Just in case.”

He knew that they only cared about his well being.  They had both been there after Alchera, and had seen the mess he’d been.  The difference between then and now was that this time, there was nothing left unsaid between the two of them.  Back on the SR-1 they’d danced around each other, coming so close but never quite admitting the way they felt about each other.  There had been a moment, right before the Collector attack, where Kaidan was certain they’d been close.

But then the Collectors _had_ attacked, and Shepard had been gone.  Kaidan had been hit by grief and regret in equal measures.  It had taken him a long time to feel like he’d made his way back to solid ground, only to have that ground ripped out from under him on Horizon.  It had not been his finest moment and Kaidan knew he was lucky that Shepard had been so understanding about it.

It was why he truly didn’t believe that Shepard was gone.  After everything they’d been through, after Alchera, after Horizon, after Mars, after the Citadel coup-after _all of that_ their story wouldn’t end like this.  He refused to believe that it was possible.

“Major?”

Kaidan looked up, startled.  He’d never heard the door open but James was standing just inside the entry, looking at him in concern.

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“You okay?  You were zoned out for a minute there.”

He shook his head.  “I’m fine.  Just tired, but no more than anyone else is.  Was there something you needed?”

“Oh, yeah!  There’s a shuttle outside.”

“What?”

“It just landed in the clearing off to the starboard side.  It looks like Alliance, sir.”  James grinned.  “They found us.”

After taking a second to let it sink in, Kaidan jumped up and followed James to the elevator.  As they made their way through the ship, he could hear the crew murmuring excitedly all around him and knew he’d been the last person to find out about the shuttle.  Not that that surprised him.

He and James exited through the airlock and started towards the clearing where the shuttle had landed.  As he approached, the door opened and two marines quickly exited followed by another figure that he instantly recognized.  He snapped to attention as she made her way towards him.

“Admiral Shepard!  Ma’am.”

She returned his salute and smiled warmly at him.  “At ease, Major.  It’s good to see you in one piece.  How’s the rest of your crew?”

“Good.  No casualties, a few minor injuries that the Doc was able to patch up.”

“And the Normandy?”

“She’s actually in pretty good shape, considering.  Comm systems and propulsion systems are offline, but with access to the proper tools and parts we could probably have her in the air again in a week.”

“Excellent.”  The admiral looked towards James.  “Lieutenant, perhaps you could take me back to your ship to have a look?”

James nodded.  “Yes, Ma’am.”

She turned back to Kaidan and spoke softly.  “You should wait for me in the shuttle, Kaidan.”

He looked up in surprise at the use of his first name, but she only smiled and then took off towards the Normandy with James.  Kaidan suddenly felt paralyzed with fear. Why did she want him to wait for her?  Did she have bad news that she didn’t want to give him in front of the crew?  But if that was the case, why would she make him wait?  A familiar voice coming from the shuttle interrupted his train of thought.

“Are you going to stand there all day, Kaidan, or are you going to come in here?  I get tired pretty quickly these days so I’d really rather sit, but it’s your call.”

It took several tries for Kaidan to force the words past the lump in his throat.  

“Shepard? I...you...wow, it’s good to see you.”

Shepard laughed and the spell that had kept Kaidan rooted in place was finally broken.  He took two long strides towards the shuttle and pulled Shepard into his arms, taking a moment to breathe in his scent before cupping his face in his hands and covering his lips with his own.

Even though they were still on a remote planet, the Normandy grounded, the galaxy recovering, Kaidan felt like he’d just come home.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

Several hours later, they sat alone in Shepard’s makeshift quarters aboard the Orizaba, tangled together in the bed by the window.  Kaidan was lazily tracing patterns on Shepard’s chest as the other man stared out at the stars.

“K?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you realize that today is Christmas Eve?”

“Huh.  Really?  Guess I lost track of time.  Had our own little Christmas miracle though, didn’t we?”

Shepard smiled and turned back towards him, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head.  

“Yeah, I guess we did.  I was just thinking...well...I feel like we wasted so much time already and…”

“And you’re finally ready to make an honest man out of me?”

Kaidan’s hand stopped when he realized what he’d just said.  “Shit, Shepard...I don’t know what I-”

Shepard laughed and then shushed him.  “That’s kind of where I was going actually.”

Kaidan looked up.  “Really?”

“Really.  I mean, what do you think?”

“I’d ah...I think I’d like that.”

Shepard smiled but then frowned slightly.

“There’s something we should probably talk about first, though.”

“Oh?  That’s quite the serious expression on your face.  What’s on your mind?”

“It’s just that I know that Earth is your home, and you speak of your place in Canada fondly.  But I grew up in space.  I can’t imagine living without the stars all around me.”

“Is that what you’re so worried about?  We’ll figure it out.  You know, we could always keep the house in Canada and use it as our getaway place.”

“Like a vacation home?”

“Yeah, exactly like that.  I promise, we’ll figure it out.”

Kaidan stretched himself out and kissed Shepard soundly, until they were both out of breath.  Pulling back slightly, he reached a finger up to trace some of the new scars on the other man’s face.  

“I’m just glad you’re alive,” he whispered.  “Nothing else matters.  And don’t you know by now, Shepard?”

“Know what?”

“It doesn’t matter where we are.  Home will always be wherever you are.”

 

 


End file.
